The Art of Letting Go: Free Yourself from the Chains of Overthinking
What is overthinking? Am I an overthinker? How do I catch myself overthinking?
You might have noticed that since entering adulthood, you find yourself facing certain maladaptive thought patterns. Perhaps you’re constantly second guessing yourself, or find yourself stuck ruminating on past events. These unhelpful thinking patterns are referred to as cognitive distortions, and often lead to the pesky habit of overthinking and anxiety. These cognitive distortions are actually very common, especially in one’s late twenties and early thirties. In fact, the prominent increase in stress levels this age group experiences can be partly attributed to the increase in negative thoughts commonly reported during this time period.
Overthinking can be a dreadful tendency, often enabling a great amount of distress. It may inhibit you from feeling present during happy moments, ultimately obstructing you from experiencing feelings of joy and pride. But what exactly constitutes overthinking? We’ve compiled a list of common overthinking patterns that may aid you in identifying when you’re so.
That way, the next time you’re experiencing distress you have a tool to evaluate the root cause of your overthinking. However, it may be possible the thoughts you’re having don’t fit under one of these categories, that’s ok! There are plenty other patterns not discussed here that mental health professionals, or other reliable sources, can help you identify.
We wanted to focus on this topic this week as it’s beneficial to become aware of your thought patterns since they dictate how we feel and respond to events. That being said, below are some common overthinking patterns that you may catch yourself stuck in.
What can overthinking look like?
1.Mind Reading
This pattern is rooted in assuming we know what others are thinking, and jumping to conclusions as a result. The maladaptive aspect to this overthinking pattern lies in the consistent negative interpretation of other’s thoughts. For example, you may pass a stranger who is making an unpleasant face and automatically assume that face is tied to negative thoughts about you. Rather than consider more probable reasons, such as they’re shoes being uncomfortable.
2. Worrying About The Future
This pattern is rooted in believing the worst case scenario and negative “what if’s” may occur even though there is no logical evidence to support these events occurring, and jumping to conclusions as a result. For example, you may be experiencing a professional dispute at work and tell yourself “this will never be solved” or “it will only get worse” or “work will never be enjoyable again”.
3.Rumination About The Past
This pattern entails constantly replaying the memory of a previous upsetting event. The event could be one that elicits feelings of anger, sadness, embarrassment, or any other negative emotion, the key point is you’re ruminating on a memory that causes distress. For example, perhaps you made a mistake in the middle of a professional presentation and for the next week continually shame and criticize yourself over it.
4. Using “Should” Statements
This pattern entails always thinking of what “should” be based on unrealistic beliefs someone carries for either themselves or others. The “should” phrases chosen will usually lead to guilt and self-criticism. For example, you may have not prepared for a certain question asked to you in an interview and are completely thrown off your game because you’re thinking “I should have known to practice for this question, I should have researched this exact topic, I should have better prepared”. When in reality, you did adequately prepare for the interview, and you are capable of answering the question on the spot.
5. Overgeneralization
This pattern results in people drawing faulty conclusions on a situation based on a single previous experience. This distortion is especially prominent to the pain felt during rejection. For example, you draw the conclusion that you will never find a romantic partner after experiencing rejection on a date.
6. Labeling
This pattern can be viewed as an extreme form of overgeneralization. It consists of labeling yourself based on a negative experience and then getting stuck in a maladaptive thought loop. This type of overthinking commonly leads people to feel low in self-worth. For example, after performing poorly on an examination you may start believing “I am stupid” or “I am useless”.
7. Hopelessness
This pattern involves obsessing on a thought based on a situation until you truly begin to believe it. For example, you may have put a lot of effort in a presentation for your boss, but it was not well-received. As a result, you begin to think there is no point in trying.
8. All-or-nothing Thinking
This pattern involves assessing people in black-or-white categories. For example, if you answered a question poorly in an interview you consider the whole experience a failure. That is, if it was not perfect, then it’s a complete failure.
9. Mental Filtering
This pattern describes the mentality of only attending to the negative attributes of a situation while discrediting the positives. For example, you ruminate on the only negative comment from a superior at work despite the overall positive feedback you were given.
10. Emotional Reasoning
This final thinking pattern describes the mentality that your negative feelings must reflect the truth. However, as this post has highlighted, thoughts are often the cause of our feelings, and our thoughts are certainly not always reflective of the truth. For example, you’re angry your competition was given the promotion you wanted, and you draw the conclusion you were treated unfairly. However, you do not take into account important details of the situation or possible triggers you have in this context.
Therapy can be a valuable resource for individuals struggling with overthinking. The therapeutic process provides a safe and non-judgmental space to explore and understand the root causes of overthinking patterns. Through talk therapy, individuals can uncover and challenge negative thought patterns, beliefs, and assumptions that contribute to excessive rumination and worry. Therapists can teach practical strategies and techniques to help clients interrupt and reframe overthinking habits, such as mindfulness exercises, cognitive restructuring, and grounding techniques. Additionally, therapy offers support, validation, and guidance, helping individuals develop healthier coping mechanisms and gain a sense of control over their thoughts. Overall, therapy can empower individuals to cultivate a more balanced and present mindset, ultimately alleviating the burden of overthinking.
Book A Free Consultation
For more information on counseling services for overthinking please contact us. We offer free consultations and are eager to help. We encourage you to pick up the phone and call, or email our clinic – whether to set up a consultation, schedule an appointment, or simply learn about our services. Let us help you gain the skills to effectively cope with overthinking and live a better, more healthy life.
